[Image: a set of 17 illustrations that says “25 ways to experience intimacy with someone”. The illustrations are of things like “Singing or dancing together,” “Helping someone who is hurt,” and “Asking for help,” among others.]




Intimacy: The Whys, Hows, How-Nots, and So-Nots

A great Scarleteen article on intimacy by Heather Corinna with a few cute example illustrations! More illustrations in the article :)

ahhh I’m so happy to read this! examples of non-sexual types of intimacy

is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.

is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.

is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”

is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.

is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.

is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”

is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.

is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.

She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner.
You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”

Why do we constantly do this to our children? /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)

Some element of a show or adaptation being problematic in one arena but progressive in another. For example, Zoycite being better-liked than Zoisite because she was more threatening and three-dimensional than other female villains of the time, but her existence being due to queer erasure.


Some element of a show or adaptation being problematic in one arena but progressive in another. For example, Zoycite being better-liked than Zoisite because she was more threatening and three-dimensional than other female villains of the time, but her existence being due to queer erasure.


Important, always-relevant comic done by the wonderful Ursa Eyer.


Incoming and outgoing mail! More photos at the blog!

I like the idea of white ink on kraft paper. Must try this.


1. Everyone has bills lying around, right? Whether they are from your own bills, or your parent’s, I’m sure there are some of these self addressable return envelopes around your home. In picture 1 is a few examples of what I’m speaking about. These have a “security patterns” on their insides. Some have actually pretty neat designs! In this tutorial, I’m going to teach you how to turn these envelopes inside-out to use as unique envelopes to send our pen pals.


2. Your first move will be to turn your bill envelope over onto its back. The way that these envelopes are put together vary but no matter what the steps are very similar. See picture number 2. Arrows are pointing to where the envelope is glued together. You want to separate the envelope at the glued areas. From my own trial and error, I’ve learned that slowly tearing them apart by hand works best. Be careful not to damage the envelope too terribly.


3. Once you have your envelope separated at the glued areas it should look like picture 3 or similar.


4. Flip your envelope over so the design that was on the inside is now facing down. Your next move is to fold up the bottom flap.


5. You will now need either glue or tape. Any kind will work. In this tutorial I used a glue stick. See picture 5. You will be gluing or taping the flaps on either side down to the middle. If you are using glue, put your glue were the arrows in picture 5 indicate. If you are using tape, fold down one side at a time and tape them to the middle.


6. At this point your envelope should look like picture 6 is from back.


7. It should look like picture number 7 from the front. Your inside-out envelope is complete all but decorating, addressing and applying postage.


8. In picture number 8 is something I like to do to my own inside-out bill envelopes. I put a scrap piece of patterned paper in the empty window. You can glue or tape it down to the inside of the envelope so it wont move during the mailing process.


I hope this unique and easy way to create an envelope for your pen pals will be helpful to you all! Please message us if you have any questions. We are always here to help!! You can check out some examples of inside-out bill envelopes I have sent to my own pen pals here, here and here.


Thanks and as always,
happy mailings!!


Outgoing mail to some pretty rad folks, including someone I had met at a Toronto Airbnb. #penpals #letterwriting #snailmail #snailmailrevolution #outgoing

Outgoing mail to some pretty rad folks, including someone I had met at a Toronto Airbnb. #penpals #letterwriting #snailmail #snailmailrevolution #outgoing


A silent protest in Love Park, downtown Philadelphia orchestrated by performance artists protesting the murder of Michael Brown in Ferguson. The onslaught of passerby’s  wanting to take photos with the statue exemplifies the disconnect in American society.  Simply frame out the dead body, and it doesn’t exist.  

Here are some observations by one of the artists involved in the event:

I don’t know who any of these folks are.

They were tourists I presume.

But I heard most of what everything they said. A few lines in particular stood out. There’s one guy not featured in the photos. His friends were trying to get him to join the picture but he couldn’t take his eyes off the body.

"Something about this doesn’t feel right. I’m going to sit this one out, guys." "Com’on man… he’s already dead."


There were a billion little quips I heard today. Some broke my heart. Some restored my faith in humanity. There was an older white couple who wanted to take a picture under the statue.

The older gentleman: “Why do they have to always have to shove their politics down our throats.” Older woman: “They’re black kids, honey. They don’t have anything better to do.”

One woman even stepped over the body to get her picture. But as luck would have it the wind blew the caution tape and it got tangle around her foot. She had to stop and take the tape off. She still took her photo.

There was a guy who yelled at us… “We need more dead like them. Yay for the white man!”

"One young guy just cried and then gave me a hug and said ‘thank you. It’s nice to know SOMEBODY sees me.’



True story from a day-in-the-life. Here’s a piece of advice. When you contact someone to do work for you, don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to decide whether your money is worth having to deal with creepy subtext in your messages to them. >:I

Comic-a-day: Day 10 of 31

View it larger HERE.

See previous Comic-a-day comics HERE.


So delicate Flowergirls by Lim Zhi Wei / Love Limzy, Malaysian artist.